How to Report, After a Sexual Assault, Signs of Abusive Relationships, Preventing Sexual Violence, Effective Consent

How to Report

Options for Disclosure and Reporting

The options for disclosure and reporting sexual misconduct are listed below and assistance is available upon request through Violence Prevention Education and Advocacy to help students review these disclosure and reporting options. University support services are available to students regardless of whether they choose to formally report the violation to the university or to law enforcement.

University Report

Sexual misconduct by members of the university community should be immediately reported to Xavier University of Louisiana’s Title IX Coordinator in order to begin the university’s investigation process.

• Jill Moffitt
  • titleix@xula.edu

Police Report

If the crime occurred on campus, contact Campus Police to file a police report. If the crime occurred off campus, contact the police department in the parish in which the crime occurred. If you have an off-campus emergency, dial 911.  

• Campus Police
• Xavier University Police Department
  4930 Drexel Drive

• • www.xula.edu/campussafetyandsecurity 

Confidential Disclosure

Disclosures made to the Violence Prevention Education and Advocacy, Counseling and Wellness Center, Student Health Clinic and Campus Ministry staff listed below will be held in strict confidence and will not serve as notice to the university requiring initiation of a review of the disclosed conduct. 

• Violence Prevention Education and Advocacy
  • (504) 520-7503
  • 107 St. Joseph Academic and Health Resource Center
  • jbodnar@xula.edu
• Counseling and Wellness Center
  • (504) 504-520-7315
  • 202 St. Joseph Academic and Health Resource Center
  • Open Monday-Thursday 9am-8pm and Friday 9am-5pm (Fall and Spring)
  • Open Monday-Friday 9am-5pm (summer)
  • xula.edu/counselingservices
• Student Health Services
  • (504) 520-7396
  • 217 St. Joseph Academic and Health Resource Center
  • Clinic Hours: Open 8:30am-4:30pm Monday-Friday
  • xula.edu/studenthealthcenter
• Office of Campus Ministry
  • 101A Administration Building
  • (504) 520-7593
  • http://www.xula.edu/faithandleadership

After a Sexual Assault

If you have been sexually assaulted, you are encouraged to seek medical attention and explore your reporting options. Violence Prevention Education and Advocacy can help you learn more about the options available. 

First, make sure you are safe from additional harm. If you are concerned for your immediate safety, call the Xavier University of Louisiana Police Department at 504-520-7490 on campus or 911 for the local police off campus. Call a trusted friend or family member for support.

Next, visit a local rape crisis center or emergency room. Seeking medical attention is critical since you may have injuries you cannot see. Victims of sexual assault may request, at no cost, a forensic medical examination regardless of whether the victim participates in the criminal justice system or cooperates with law enforcement in pursuing the prosecution of the crime. 

The closest hospital to Xavier University of Louisiana is University Medical Center. University Medical Center offers forensic exams for evidence collection. They can also test you for sexual transmitted diseases, provide preventative medications for sexually transmitted diseases and provide emergency contraception. It is important to seek medical care at a hospital where the staff is properly trained to collect evidence and provide care for survivors of sexual assault. If you choose to have forensic evidence collected, the sooner you go to the hospital, the more likely they will be to be able to collect reliable and useful evidence. You have 5 days from the time of an assault to get a forensic medical exam, but it’s best if you go within 3 days because many of the prevention medications need to be taken within 3 days. Even if the 5 day window has passed, you should still seek medical attention. Even though you may want to, do not shower, douche, brush your teeth, smoke or eat. If possible, try not to use the bathroom. If you have already changed clothes, place them in a paper bag (plastic destroys evidence) and bring them to the hospital with you. If you have not changed clothes, keep the original clothes on and bring an extra outfit to wear home from the hospital, as they will collect the clothes you were wearing as part of the evidence. If a condom was used or there are other items that might have evidence on them, like bed sheets, bring those with you as well.

Additionally, there are offices at Xavier University of Louisiana that offer support and assistance to students who have been sexually assaulted. The Counseling and Wellness Center, Violence Prevention Education and Advocacy, Student Health Services and Office of Campus Ministry all provide confidential assistance to students who have experienced victimization. You do not have to formally report the incident to police in order seek medical attention or support services from the university. 

 

Signs of Abusive Relationships

It’s not always easy to tell when a relationship starts if it will become abusive. Many abusers seem like great partners in the beginning. Controlling, possessive and abusive behaviors usually don’t start immediately.  They tend to surface and intensify as the relationship grows. Abuse doesn’t look the same in every relationship. The abusive partner may use any combination of the tactics listed below in order to gain power and control over the victim.

Some signs of an abusive relationship include:

Physical Abuse

• Pulling your hair, punching, slapping, kicking, biting or choking you
• Grabbing you and shaking you by the arms or shoulders
• Not letting you leave
• Not letting you eat or sleep
• Threating you with weapons
• Not letting you call the police or seek medical attention
• Harming your children
• Abandoning you in unfamiliar places
• Driving recklessly when you are in the car
• Making you use drugs or alcohol
• Being abusive toward your pets

Emotional Abuse

• Calling you names, insulting you or constantly criticizing you
• Putting you down in front of other people
• Accusing you of cheating or being interested in someone else
• Cheating on you and blaming you for their actions
• Threatening to cheat on you if you don’t do what they want
• Refusing to trust you
• Acting jealous or possessive
• Trying to isolate you from family or friends
• Monitoring where you go, who you hang out with or who you text/call
• Demanding to know where you are all the time
• Withholding affection as a way to punish you
• Making threats of violence toward you, your family, children or pets
• Damaging your property (throwing objects, punching the wall, kicking the door, cutting up your clothes, etc.)
• Controlling what you wear, how much makeup you wear, how you style your hair, etc.
• Blaming you for their abusive tendencies
• Telling you that you will never find anyone better or that you are lucky to be with them

Sexual Abuse

• Forcing you to have sex or perform sexual acts
• Holding you down during sex
• Insulting you in sexual ways
• Demanding sex when you’re not in the mood
• Hurting you with weapons or objects during sex
• Involving other people in sexual activities with you against your will
• Ignoring your feelings regarding sex
• Forcing you to watch pornography
• Intentionally trying to give you a sexually transmitted disease

Financial Abuse

• Preventing you from working or limiting the hours you can work
• Making you work and then taking your paycheck and not giving you access to the money
• Making you pay their bills and buy them things when you  have not agreed to support them
• Giving you an allowance, closely watching what you spend money on and demanding receipts for purchases made
• Preventing you from viewing or having access to bank accounts
• Maxing out credit cards in your name without permission or not paying the credit card bills they accumulated
• Stealing money from you, your family or friends
• Using funds from your children’s savings accounts without your permission
• Living in your house but refusing to work or contribute

Digital Abuse

• Deciding who you are allowed to be friends with on social media
• Using social media sites to keep track of where you are
• Sending you unwanted explicit pictures and demanding you send some in return
• Posting negative comments about you on their social media sites
• Making you give them your social media passwords so they can monitor your sites
• Making you give them the password to your phone so they can read your text messages, see who you’ve called and what websites you’ve visited
• Using GPS or any form of tracking device to monitor where you are
• Repeatedly texting or calling you so you feel like you can’t be away from your phone without fear of punishment

Preventing Sexual Violence

Most people grow up learning prevention tips to help them avoid sexual assault. Women in particular are taught not walk alone, tell a friend where they will be when going on a date, watch their drink to make sure no one puts drugs in it, carry their keys in their hand when walking to their car and to use the buddy system when going out.

American society is filled with messages about how people can help protect themselves from being a victim of sexual assault. Rarely do we hear about ways that we can avoid being a sexual perpetrator. Read the prevention and risk reduction strategies listed below to learn how to keep you and your partner safe.  

Prevention:

• Communicate your boundaries and expectations to your partner in advance.
• Ask for consent before engaging in sexual activity.
• Respect your partner's limits when they say no.
• Pick up on physical ques when your partner looks uncomfortable, pulls away or isn’t an equal participant in sexual activity.
• Do not pressure your partner into a sexual activity that makes them uncomfortable.
• Do not physically overpower your partner.
• Do not set unrealistic expectations for dating.  For example, paying for your date’s dinner does not entitle you to sexual favors in return.
• Consider how alcohol and other drugs impair your decision making abilities. These substances can cloud your judgment and make it difficult to pick up on a "no" from your partner.
• Do not encourage your date to drink in excess or provide them with other drugs that will cloud their judgment.  If your partner is incapacitated, they cannot give legal consent to sexual activity.
• Be aware of what's going on around you. If you see a situation that looks problematic, do something about it.
• Promote social norms that protect against violence.

Risk Reduction:

Regardless of how many risk reduction strategies you do or do not use, a survivor is never responsible for being sexually assaulted. Nothing a person says, does or wears makes them deserve to be victimized.  

• Think about your limits ahead of time, particularly before the influence of alcohol or other drugs. If someone is crossing your boundaries, tell them to stop.
• Learn how to communicate your limits so you will be comfortable saying no when you want to.
• Be aware of people who continue to push your boundaries after you’ve asserted your limits. Perpetrators purposefully try to push your boundaries to see what they can get away with.
• Trust your gut. If you are uncomfortable, listen to your intuition.
• If you meet someone online or don’t know them well, do not allow them to pick you up for a date or know where you live.
• If you just met someone, meet for dates in public for a while before going to a more intimate location.
• Take your time getting to know someone and learn who they really are before jumping into a relationship or intimacy.  
• Tell your friends when and where you are going on a date. If you met the person online, provide your friends with a photo of your date and ask that they call or text to check on you throughout the night and to make sure you made it home safely.
• Always have a backup plan for how to get home in case things don't go the way you expect. Carry extra cash/credit card and have a transportation app downloaded on your phone so you can easily call for a ride.
• When you go out, stay with your friends. Don't wander off alone or break off from your friend group and go with people you don’t know well.
• If someone offers to walk or drive you home, make sure you know that person well. Oftentimes, perpetrators use this as a way to isolate you and get you in a situation where they can take advantage of you.
• Do not accept drinks or medication from anyone. Some over-the-counter medications, when mixed with alcohol, can have similar effects of a date rape drug.
• Remember you do not owe anyone your time, attention or body. You have the right to say no at any time, even if you have already started engaging in sexual activity.

Effective Consent

Effective consent is informed, freely and actively given by mutually understandable words or actions that indicate a willingness to engage in mutually agreed upon sexual activity. In other words, to do the same thing, at the same time, in the same way, with each other.

• Cycling Through Consent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JwlKjRaUaw
• Tea and Consent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ